She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
