The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize