Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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