I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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