i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
