i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The uberlube is also flammable
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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