I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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