If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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