thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
