If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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