A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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