Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.