We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.