so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
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I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle