my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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