My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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