Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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