Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize