everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
