After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
