im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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