I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
