life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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