dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize