There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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