i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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