Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
