Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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