Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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