i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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