I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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