I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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