Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize