You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
tell me about the eggs
Randomize