Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
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Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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