You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Success! We fucked roommates!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize