He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?