...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.