You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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