i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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