That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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