I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
