buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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