Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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