your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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