Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
