He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
