Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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