I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize