So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
