I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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