I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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