i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
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Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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