I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
